Finding confidence - Asher's story

People used to take advantage of me. Not anymore. I used to be scared because I didn’t have the confidence, but now I’m not. 

Asher* is in Year 9 and has been part of the School of Hard Knocks (SOHK) programme since he started secondary school. Now one of the older students in the Year 8/9 group, Asher has grown into someone younger participants look up to – energetic, kind, and quietly confident. 

Asher lives with his father and a sibling in one of the most deprived areas in Wales. His mother sadly passed away when he was in primary school. He’s very close to his family and speaks about them with warmth and love. But the impact of losing his mum at such a young age has stayed with him. He describes struggling with low confidence and his emotions – particularly anger – and says that, for a long time, he didn’t know how to manage and control it. “It would come out as shouting, or I’d cry,” he explains. “I didn’t know what to do with how I felt.” 

At school, Asher initially found it difficult to connect with others. Though he wanted to play sport, his confidence held him back and he didn’t enjoy it. When things got tough socially, anger and low confidence often led to outbursts and breakdowns in friendships and communication. “People used to take advantage of me,” he says. “Not anymore. I’ve got more confidence now and even work better with people I don’t know.” 

Asher credits much of that change to SOHK’s programme. “SOHK has taught me to have a go,” he says. “Now I have the confidence to just go for it.” He speaks highly of the supportive environment: “We’re in a group where we can try new things, and no one is there to put each other down.” Whether it’s rugby, mentoring, or the weekly nominations session (a group favourite), Asher sees SOHK as a place where he can relax and be himself. 

“Asher has become a quiet leader,” says a member of the SOHK delivery team. “He brings others into the group with his humour and kindness. He’s a natural role model and his warmth has helped some of the younger members of the group to shine.” His experience of working with older students in the past has shaped how he supports his peers now. “I know how it feels,” he says.   

For Asher, the journey hasn’t just been about sport or school – it’s been about believing in himself again. “I just know it’s going to be fun when I come in,” he says, smiling. “I used to be scared because I didn’t have the confidence, but now I’m not. I just don’t feel scared anymore.” 

Looking ahead, Asher has big ambitions. “I want to help other people, and I want to make money,” he says with characteristic honesty. “I know some people don’t get to do things they love – but that’s what I want to do.” 

*Name and image have been changed to protect the identity of our beneficiary.